How a UK Family Law Professional Uses TalkingParents to Reduce Conflict
Daniel Ryan is a family law solicitor with his own practice based in the United Kingdom.
- 3 min read
Benefits
Daniel Ryan operates a family law practice in the United Kingdom. He has a team spread across the country and various specialties, from solicitors and mediators to social workers and therapists. Ryan says his practice and associates are unique in that they focus on providing blended support for families facing separation from both a legal and emotional standpoint, which is where TalkingParents can be particularly useful.
“We have so many parents who don’t like each other, and they’re using Facebook messenger, or Whatsapp, or whatever else to communicate, and invariably they’re being pretty aggressive or abusive. This is where they need to be taken to a neutral platform where, first and foremost, they realize they’re being recorded, and their tone will automatically calm because of that. TalkingParents helps us put people into a controlled environment.”
Ryan says the court often sets special rules around exclusivity so that parents are only allowed to communicate through the app, which helps keep their interactions civil while assisting the legal counsel involved.
“TalkingParents takes a lot of the ‘heat’ out of the conflict we’re in the middle of. That obviously makes life a lot easier because the approach we take to family law is that our role is not to fight on behalf of one party or the other. We’re not there as bullies. Our role is to find an opportunity for these families to get on with their lives. We often sit with clients and say, look, what you want is kind of irrelevant outside of what applies to the best interests of the children. What I want as your legal representative is to find a way for your kids to get on with their childhoods. That’s what we’re here to do. So, this app helps us bring these parents to a place where we can do that.”
Court & Records
Ryan says several of his cases have resolved before going to court because of TalkingParents.
“Having the app in play can take a lot of tension out of pre-hearing discussions. Sometimes we’re able to move from a very hostile position to a negotiating position quite quickly when parties realize, wait a minute, they already know what I’ve said or done because they’ve got it in writing right here, so there’s no back-and-forth about who said what.”
He also says some court proceedings have taken less time because there was a TalkingParents Record in use.
“There’s been occasions where we’ve brought a transcript from a conversation to the judge, and he’s taken the opportunity to look at it and say, there’s no need to debate this particular matter because it’s right here in front of us. We accept it as fact, and we move on.”
Ryan has only ever faced one situation where opposing counsel objected to the use of a TalkingParents Record as evidence and he says it was easily shot down.
“The basis of their objection was essentially that we’d manufactured the communication to serve our purpose. So, opposing counsel raised that objection in court, and we combatted that by offering to take out the client’s phone and publish the Record again. Which is exactly what we did—we just said hang on, let’s do it once more, here’s the phone, click, click, click—there you go! And that was that.”
Advice
Ryan has dealt with many clients who were initially reluctant to use TalkingParents, and he says that’s natural, but it’s important to encourage them to try it anyway.
For some parents it’s quite concerning in the beginning—mainly because they’re uncomfortable with their ability to control themselves. But over time, they start to realize the value of the app. They start to realize that while you might not like the fact that you’re being captured, both sides are being captured. Both sides are playing by the same set of rules.
He says that because TalkingParents Records are accepted as fact and other communication platforms are easy to manipulate, restricting the parties only to the app can be a considerable help.
“TalkingParents is a room. The two parents enter the room, recognizing the fact that whatever they say in this room has the potential to come back and bite them. So, they know that while they’re in this room, they need to be careful, and they tend to become more reasoned. The more parents can communicate through the app, the better, because as soon as they step outside of TalkingParents, things can start to go south.”
Ryan says TalkingParents is invaluable.
“I spent a lot of time back in the day—20 years ago when I started—arguing just over who said what. The acceleration of apps like TalkingParents has eliminated so much of that and made my job easier. And for parents, it brings common sense back into the relationship and cuts down on that hostility.”